The Joy Practice

how exactly does it work?

We are a homeschooling family.  As such, I am often asked the following:

"Do you have certain hours each day when you work?"  "Do you follow a curriculum?"   When I answer "no" to both, I then get "So, how exactly does homeschooling work?" 

Hmmm, how exactly DOES it work?  For us, that is.  There are as many ways to homeschool as there are kids and families.  I wouldn't pretend to speak for any of them.  But for us? 

Sometimes, I just don't know how to answer.  There is no "exact".  How do I really portray what it looks like to be us? 

And then I watch a day like today unfold and think, "This is 'exactly' how we do it."

Isabella and Andre had a friend over.  They were trying to figure out what to do.  Tree climbing came up as an option.  A discussion followed about the problem with our trees (namely, they are all tall with difficult to reach lower branches).  I heard one of them ask, "What if we use rope and climb?" 

Them: "Mom, is it OK if we use rope to climb a tree?" 

Me: "Yes, if I can check your tree and your knots before you get started."

They grabbed their rope and started out in search of trees. After nixing the tree that is notorious for its widow-making branches and the one in which they would have to trample the neighbors flowers, they found the right one.

Them: "Mom, we don't have enough rope.  Can we bike to Maya's to get hers?"

Three young kids hop on bikes (all three kids with helmets- sensible homeschooled children) and ride a few blocks to Maya's house.  Upon returning, they got busy.  Several minutes later, I got the call that they were ready.

I checked out their choice of tree...great.  Knots...well-tied and secure.  Isabella built a harness out of rope and attached it to the rope that she had thrown over a low-ish branch.  It didn't look like any climbing apparatus I had seen.  I had to ask.

"What the heck are you doing?" 

She walked me through her well-thought out plan, showing me how she would use the rope to climb up the tree...and how (if she failed to make the ascent), the harness would keep her from plummeting to the ground.  She also had her bike helmet for extra protection and gardening gloves to protect her hands from rope burn. 

Ready, set....go

Almost there...but not quite....and slowly, ever so slowly...she lost her grip.

I thanked heavens for the harness and the well-planned plan as I watched her fall.  Then, they each had a turn, congratulated each other on their efforts and moved inside to some new project.

It happens like that every day.  Sometimes, they are motivated to draw or paint or make up songs or plays or break-dancing routines.  Sometimes, they want to make things fizz and bubble over.  Sometimes, they want to construct and build.

And that is (inexactly) how homeschooling works...for us.  We follow their lead and they bring equal parts of inspiration, self-starting, problem-solving, creativity, responsibility, safety, fun, experimentation, independence, inter-dependence, teamwork and above all, joy. 

There is no formula that we follow except trusting that they want to learn and will always find opportunities to do so (with loads and loads of reading and a sprinkling of math thrown in for good measure). 

p.s.  I thought that was the end of the rope-works story and sat down to write this blog-post.  Then, I heard a "Mom, get in here!!" that was filled with excitement.  And behold. 

Look who found another use for those ropes.

our week in pictures

Spring Break!! I can count the number of times we drove on one hand, but lose track of where we journeyed on bike and foot.

Days stretched forever, filled with playful wanderings, quiet crafting and larger-than-life imaginings. Beach days, creek days.  Library, farmers' market and drawing days. Long, sweet loving days.

Whenever we hopped on our bikes, Isabella packed a bag. Each day, I smiled to see what were her "essentials".

I particularly loved discovering on our library day that her pack was filled with a stapler, a glue stick, a pair of scissors, a pen and page after page of manga drawings. At the end of the day, she proudly produced a high fashion magazine.

Our creek walkings took us farther upstream than we had ever been. They have an entire world down there that is theirs alone.

I felt so honored as they introduced me to all of their "lands", my heart smiling as they exclaimed, "Mom, you've never sat in the Chair of Wisdom. It's right here."

This is why we homeschool. And yet even so, I often feel as if I am running and running and running, to and fro and back again. But this week has reminded me...again...the value of taking it slow.

endings and beginnings

I know that winter is about endings.  This winter was no different.  The leaves fell; days were short; nights were long.

For our family, the endings became personal.  This was the long winter of goodbyes.  Goodbyes to friends, goodbye to comfortable rhythms, goodbye to known routines. 

Within the course of the season, two families filled with best friends moved away- thousands of miles in opposite directions.  Two best friends of Andre; two best friends of Isabella; two best friends of Ruthie; two empty pillows in my women's circle every week.  Poof!  Isabella's one close friend on our street...moving next month.  Double Poof!

So many goodbyes...we are ready for some hellos.  What wonders are ready to jump into the spaces left behind?

And then, yesterday, I saw clearly that Spring is here.  Along with longer days, green buds and blooming flowers, I watched moment after moment of beauty unfold before my eyes. 

Through the long winter of goodbyes, I unwaveringly trusted that we would know deep and loving friendship again; I just didn't forsee how brilliantly it would blossom between Isabella and Andre. 

 

 

 

self-care, ruthie style

Isabella came home exhausted from her field-trip this afternoon, asked to stay home from dance, promptly went upstairs, crawled into bed and fell asleep. 

My little energizer bunny never naps anymore, but didn't seem sick.  I smiled to myself; she has learned the important lesson of self-care.

And, of course, me being me, I started to reflect on my own habits of self-care. Today, my world was full of it. It started out as a rainy, overcast kind of day. 

My mind went straight to home (ahhh), knitting (another ahhh), green juice or tea (mmmm), games (fun). 

Adam's first thought, "Hey, want to take Andre to Laser Tag?"  (You see, Isabella isn't my only energizer bunny.  I'm the odd man out in that department in my house). 

Thankfully, my inner voice in charge of self-care took over.  "Um....No." 

And my nurturing, slow-moving day began....

Ahhhhhhh....

Mmmmmm*......

Fun.......!!!

*Green juice confession.  For years, I have tried to love them and got as far as, "Hmmm, it's not too bad."  Recently, I realized that in an effort to make them palatable, I had been putting in too much fruit (thinking sweet might help). 

Then, I started reading Kris Carr's book, "Crazy, Sexy Diet."  She suggests minimizing the fruit and sweet veggies (carrots and beets...my old standards) and amping up the greens.  So, I threw a bunch of things together and stumbled upon a beverage that I crave every day.  I use my vitamix and make smoothies, but it would work just as well in a juicer.  Here it is.

• 1 and 1/2 cup of water
• 1 lemon (I slice away the zest, but leave the pith which is extremely high in vitamin C and contains vitamin B6 and fiber, too)
• 1 apple
• 1 to 2 celery stalks
• 1/2 cucumber (organic with skin)
• At least 2 leaves of kale
• several broccoli florets if I've got it

Makes about 30 oz.  Drink some now and some later.  (Double Mmmmmm!)

and so it begins...

OK, I'm ready...Blog, officially begin!

Hi everyone and welcome to the Joy Practice!

As I started dreaming about this blog, I found myself asking big questions: namely, "Who am I?" and "Why am I doing this?"

Searching for answers, I spent some time revisiting my writing of yore - journals, Midwife for Your Life articles, little notes on scraps of paper. I looked in the mirror.  I looked through my photos. I looked in my family's eyes.

Who am I?  

 

Wherever I looked, I saw relationships: a  mother, a partner, a daughter, a friend.   Relationships everywhere- joyful, nourishing, grounding, strengthening and yes, sometimes challenging.

 I saw a woman trying to make sense of life; wanting to live with purpose and passion.  I saw a woman who loves and is loved.  I saw a woman who struggles and falters and finds her way anew, strengthened by the struggle. 

This woman, this ME, pauses and ponders.  I seek.  I sit.  And time and time again, I turn to this moment in front of me, to mindfulness.  I breathe in and pause to see clearly what is before me whether it be challenge or joy.  In that breath, I see life through a different lens.

In that breath, I find this moment (this one, right here).  I find this moment and lose this moment; find it and lose it again.  As with meditation, I keep coming back.  I use many tools to re-connect with it.  Gratitude, noticing, photography, writing; this moment grounds my parenting and partnering.  This eternal dance of losing and finding it is my practice leading to joy.

Through this blog, I lie humble at the foot this exquisite moment.  I want to deeply see it, savor it, to crawl inside of it, live it...and let it go.  I want to document this one beautiful life that I have; to share it in black and white, technicolor and sometimes sepia depending on the camera filter! 

I am here in my fullness, in my beauty, in my love, in my challenge.  I am here to grow and to live in joy.   

Welcome.  Come often.  Stay long.  Share your moment with me.  

 

cooperation

Kids in the forest. Ropes and Redwood branches. Cooperation. Laughter. Success. Failure. Success again. More laughter.

stillness

A moment outside of time. The stillness of it seeps into me merging with that place within where stillness is all there is. This life, this child, this place, this beauty joining the oneness at my center. And thus...a blog is born!!