The Joy Practice

Magic

Adam and I were recently having a Coincidence-versus-Magic debate. My science-based husband was clearly on the coincidence side. Me, I believe in magic (grace, spirit, or whatever word means that the events of this world are not random).  Although sometimes, doubt creeps in.

This week, as if sensing that I my inner-doubter was being lured by the coincidence argument, magic whispered in my ear.

Here's the story.
I was listening to a book of Isabella's through audible (she wasn't interested and I am...especially now...riveted).

About three or four hours into the narration, I spontaneously decide to look at the information page in my audible app.

It's the publisher's synopsis. I don't read them as a rule. Don't like spoilers. For some reason, with the narrator narrating away, I felt compelled to break that rule.

I look. And start to read. And as I read, I realize that I am reading the exact words that I am hearing. Logical brain goes into action and I think, "Oh, maybe the audible app knows exactly where you are in the book so that you can read along."  (Would be a cool feature, wouldn't it!!)

Then, my heart leaps.  No, it is not a cool feature of the app.  It is a moment of pure and beautiful magic.  I was reading the actual publisher's summary.  The publisher chose to start the summary with a quote from the book; I "happened" to read that quote at the very moment that the same words were being read to me.

Let me repeat this for full O-M-G effect. I "randomly" open the publishers' notes (which is something I am usually adamantly unwilling to do) and the exact words that I am hearing are the exact words I am seeing on my cellphone screen.

The exact words.

And they were not random words.  They were these words...

"I had big thoughts to match the wind. I wondered if we find the people that we need when we need them. I wondered if we attract our future by some sort of invisible force, or if we are drawn to it by a similar force. I felt that I was turning a corner and that change was afoot."
-Sharon Creech, The Great Unexpected

Those were the words. I'm wondering about coincidence and magic and the Universe shouts in my ear...those words. Magic words.

But I now know. There is magic.  I am turning a corner.  There is change afoot!!

slow days

they didn't want to get out of the car.
"do we have to hike?"

"let's show tormod chimonkey land."
and that sealed the deal.

I wanted to move a bit first, so i guided them toward the short redwood loop. they ran and played, Andre and his best friend, his best friend who leaves today for his home an ocean away.

and then, we arrive....chimonkey land.

chimonkey land where the sun is always warm and the river eases by, where sand buildings must be built and rope swings must be swung. where time ceases and the moment takes over.

 

and here, we live; we thrive.
in the slowness of the softly flowing river.

summer in february

i needed this. what a day!!

the shortest day

 

As the days continue to shorten on their journey to the winter solstice, I embrace the darkness. The sun rises later and sets earlier; the light decreases with each day; the dark hours grow.

Modern inventions (like that new-fangled electric bulb that lights up our world) have changed our relationship with the solstice, but the deep truth is still there. Darkness and light exist both outside and within us – dancing around each other, each bringing its particular gifts.

Day turns to Night turns to Day turns to Night; Spring turns to Summer turns to Autumn turns to Winter…and back to Spring again. We spend time outside (in nature, in relationships) and return home- to our physical home as well as to our inner-self for contemplation.

Stonehenge, Newgrange, Chichen Itza. These ancient ruins remind me that cultures older than ours understood the cyclical of our lives. I, too, know that the sun (the dawn, the Spring, the ease) will come back. And yet I also honor this time of darkness, knowing it to be as important as the months of light.

So, I sit…growing comfortable with the darkness, the night, the winter days….learning more from the dark depths within me…discovering the places where my old wounds and heavier emotions seek cover.

Light and dark, activity and rest. Light shows us what is in front of us…our path is illuminated. In the darkness, we grope. It is unknown.

All I can do is know that I am here…and understand that light follows darkness…and darkness follows light. It is the cyclical nature of our lives…

…and it is beautiful.

more love

trusting the universe.  believing in more and more and more love.  living in this moment. 

miracles happen

Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.
- Richard Wilkins

finding fun in busy times

It's been busy in these parts.  Busy, busy, busy.  "End-of-the-year this" met "end-of-the-year that".  I'm fine with busy, when I am engaged and present.  This year, however, busyness became overwhelm as my external world encroached on my internal world. 

Monkey mind took over. Oh so chatty, chatty, chatty...and full of criticism to boot. And that wise Watcher, the one who helps me see that the moment is in right in front of me, I forgot to even seek her out.

Busy on the outside; busy on the inside.  All of my practice went out the window as I was strung along by lists.  Places to be, things to do, more places to be, more things to do. 

In the background was the most challenging list of all...the list of failures (mine).  As a mom, a partner, a human, a being. I even forgot that there is no such thing as "failing" with this busy mind of mine.

The more chatty that I became, the less I did to quiet the chatter.  Meditation practice- too busy.  Yoga- maybe tomorrow.  Gratitude journal- can't find my book (too busy to make, too busy get a new one).  The less I strove to quiet the chatter...you guessed it...the louder it got.

And then....

...I said it out loud.  I told my circle of women what my internal landscape looked like.  In the verbalizing of it, I stepped one step back, away from the compelling story that was being spun within me. 

Just one step back. 

But it was enough. 

In that space, I engaged with the Watcher.  My partner in life that allows me to see it all from the miraculous place of distance.  And then, I asked for help from one of my amazing healers.  One step back became two steps back, until I could see the outlines of it all as "story".  My story...and not necessarily truth. 

In that stepping back, I released the hold that story had upon me.  I allowed the moment to return.  And the joy.  And when our busy schedule brought us to yesterday, I was ready.  To watch this amazing day unfold, moment by moment.

 

 

 

I was truly there.  All of me.  Noticing that this life is full of miraculous beauty.  That each moment is full.  Whether it be a moment of challenge or a moment of joy.  And no matter which moment I find; it's all good.

how exactly does it work?

We are a homeschooling family.  As such, I am often asked the following:

"Do you have certain hours each day when you work?"  "Do you follow a curriculum?"   When I answer "no" to both, I then get "So, how exactly does homeschooling work?" 

Hmmm, how exactly DOES it work?  For us, that is.  There are as many ways to homeschool as there are kids and families.  I wouldn't pretend to speak for any of them.  But for us? 

Sometimes, I just don't know how to answer.  There is no "exact".  How do I really portray what it looks like to be us? 

And then I watch a day like today unfold and think, "This is 'exactly' how we do it."

Isabella and Andre had a friend over.  They were trying to figure out what to do.  Tree climbing came up as an option.  A discussion followed about the problem with our trees (namely, they are all tall with difficult to reach lower branches).  I heard one of them ask, "What if we use rope and climb?" 

Them: "Mom, is it OK if we use rope to climb a tree?" 

Me: "Yes, if I can check your tree and your knots before you get started."

They grabbed their rope and started out in search of trees. After nixing the tree that is notorious for its widow-making branches and the one in which they would have to trample the neighbors flowers, they found the right one.

Them: "Mom, we don't have enough rope.  Can we bike to Maya's to get hers?"

Three young kids hop on bikes (all three kids with helmets- sensible homeschooled children) and ride a few blocks to Maya's house.  Upon returning, they got busy.  Several minutes later, I got the call that they were ready.

I checked out their choice of tree...great.  Knots...well-tied and secure.  Isabella built a harness out of rope and attached it to the rope that she had thrown over a low-ish branch.  It didn't look like any climbing apparatus I had seen.  I had to ask.

"What the heck are you doing?" 

She walked me through her well-thought out plan, showing me how she would use the rope to climb up the tree...and how (if she failed to make the ascent), the harness would keep her from plummeting to the ground.  She also had her bike helmet for extra protection and gardening gloves to protect her hands from rope burn. 

Ready, set....go

Almost there...but not quite....and slowly, ever so slowly...she lost her grip.

I thanked heavens for the harness and the well-planned plan as I watched her fall.  Then, they each had a turn, congratulated each other on their efforts and moved inside to some new project.

It happens like that every day.  Sometimes, they are motivated to draw or paint or make up songs or plays or break-dancing routines.  Sometimes, they want to make things fizz and bubble over.  Sometimes, they want to construct and build.

And that is (inexactly) how homeschooling works...for us.  We follow their lead and they bring equal parts of inspiration, self-starting, problem-solving, creativity, responsibility, safety, fun, experimentation, independence, inter-dependence, teamwork and above all, joy. 

There is no formula that we follow except trusting that they want to learn and will always find opportunities to do so (with loads and loads of reading and a sprinkling of math thrown in for good measure). 

p.s.  I thought that was the end of the rope-works story and sat down to write this blog-post.  Then, I heard a "Mom, get in here!!" that was filled with excitement.  And behold. 

Look who found another use for those ropes.